Randomosity

My sister got married this last weekend and it was a beautiful wedding. She looked beautiful, but then she usually does. Plus her husband is a great guy and their good for each other.

I'm now job hunting yet again, but before I do that, I'm spending two weeks with my aunt next to a small lake in Nebraska. All I have to say is that it's beautiful here and I love being next to the water, even if I don't go out on it much.

I've been doing a lot of beading lately and may try selling some of it online. I need to get pictures of it all first...that could be an interesting project in and of it self.

Yeah, this was short but sweet, I'm now off to bed.

I'm sorry! Please don't hit me!

Warning: Slightly Twilight related content


I'm not what you would call an 'obsessed' Twilight fan. Yes, I've read teh books more then once, yes, I've seen the movies more then once, and yes I do discus both with other Twilight fans. However I'm not going to go to any midnight movie showings, or buy stuff just because it's from Twilight. Now, having said all that I will admit that I enjoy reading the books and analyzing the movies. Recently I've come to the conclussion that I'm "Team Jacob'. I know, I know, that sounds like I'm one of those 'obsessed' fans I've claimed not to be, but let me explain.

After watching New Moon again, I realized that I'm a bit of a Jacob fan. Let me clarify right now that being a Jacob fan as absolutely NOTHING to do with the actor who portrays Jacob. I think in some ways having watched the movie again, it helped me to really picture Jacob's actions, instead of just having to imagine what he might do. Once I reread the books again, I was even more of a Jacob fan, and I finally figured out why.
I relate to Jacob more then any other character in the series. I find myself in his shoes more often in life, aside from the whole freaky wolf thing :p I always find myself as just the friend and never 'the' girl. Now I know that's not necessarily a bad thing, however it never fails that the guys I like end up married, or with someone other then me. Now I'm not saying I wished I'd married them, just that there's always a tad bit of bitter-sweetness to it. I'm genuienly happy for them when they find that 'special someone', but every time that happens I can't help but feel 'there's another good guy taken'.

I know God has a plan for all of us, and everything happens in His time, but sometimes it's hard to be patient. I can't tell you how many people have said that it will happen when you're not looking, or when you least expect it, I've also had people tell me that I'll find that guy when I've finally reached a point where I'm happy being single. I'm not going to argue with them, I've seen it happen to too many people. But sometimes it gets old. I've had many times where I thought I was happy being single, and I haven't been looking for anyone. So again, we're back to God's timing. My brother once told me that he wouldn't be surprised if I never marry and at the time I agreed with him, but at the same time I'm not sure I want to be single forever. I guess I just have to be patient and wait on God for an answer of some kind.


On a side note since I did mention marriage in there; my sister's getting married!!! I'm excited for her, she and Josh are great for each other!

In The Hands Of God

I love getting new cds because I finding music that I can fall in love with. One of my newest cds is the WOW Hits 2010. There are many songs on there that have encouraged me or challenge me. So of course I'm going to share them.

The first song is By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North (who I happened to see in concert not that long ago)
This song is a great reminder that no matter what I'm going through Jesus is right there with me. He'll never leave, no matter what happens.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

The next song, Two Hands by Jars Of Clay
What would happen if Christens stopped trying to live in two worlds? Trying to reach to Jesus with one hand and the world with the other. What would happen if we were reaching to Jesus with two hands?

I’ve been living out of sanity
I’ve been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

I use one hand to pull closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high

I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation
Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We’ll lose control

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

Another encouraging song is You're Not Shaken by Phil Stacey
It's a great reminder that our 'world' can be completely changed by what's going on around us, but that God is unchanging, His 'world' stays the same. How great is that!

I am sinking in a river that is raging
I am drowning, will I ever rise to breathe again
I want to know why I just want to understand
Will I ever know why

How could this be from Your hand
When every little thing that I have dreamed would be
Just slips away like water through my hand
And when it seems the walls of my belief are crashing down

Like they're all made of sand
I won't let go of You now, because I know You're not shaken
I'm trembling in the darkness of my own fear
All the questions with no answers still grip me while

I'm here And I may never know why I may not understand
But I will lift up my eyes And trust this is Your plan
When I am in the valley of the shadow of death
You're not shaken, You're not shaken

You're right here beside me and
You have never left
You're not shaken, You're not shaken

The last song (at least for now) is Savior, Please by Josh Wilson
Yet another song about how Jesus is everything we need (hmmm....seems to be a pattern in the songs that hit me this time around).

Savior, please take my hand .
I work so hard, I live so fast.
This life begins, then it ends.
And then I do the best that I can,
but I don't know how long I'll last.

I try to be so tough,
but I'm just not strong enough.
I can't do this alone, God I need you
to hold on to me.
I try to be good enough,
but I'm nothing without your love.
Savior, please keep saving me.

Savior, please help me stand.
I fall so hard, I fade so fast.
Will you begin right where I end?
And be the God of all I am because you're all I have.

Hallelujah!
Everything you are to me
is everything I'll ever need.
and i am learning to believe
cause you're the one who's saving me.

So anyway that's all I have for now. You should totally listen to the WOW 2010 cd, because there are so many other great songs on there. Oh and one last song, In The Hands of God by the Newsboys. I'll let you look up those lyrics.

Dieting

I decided that I needed a change, both physically and spiritually. So yesterday I started my diet. I have a goal to loose 60 pounds, in a safe and healthy way. And I have a spiritual goal to grow. I started reading the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. (Thanks Ann for the suggestion!) So between that and a goal of reading Scripture everyday, my spiritual diet is underway.

My physical diet is a bit tougher, at least right now. For those of you who know me well, you know that I love meats and coffee. The first nine days of this diet I can't have either one. Talk about having withdrawals. To make it even harder my parents grilled brauts yesterday for supper and I couldn't have any. After these first nine days I can have limited quantities of certain meats and coffee. The coffee I've just decided to not drink until I'm done with the diet, it's easier that way. I've also cut out all the other caffeinated drinks I used to have. I've done this before successfully so I know I can do it again, however it is still a bit of a challenge.

I'd appreciate your prayers as I go through these diets, as well as any encouragement/tips you'd care to pass along.

Standing in the Mud

I received a letter from very dear friend this last week. I was excited to hear from her, as it had been a long time. I wasn't prepared for what she had to tell me. I didn't expect her to say that for the last several years her marriage had been horrible, to the point of physical and emotional abuse. I can't imagine living like that. Thankfully, the abuse is over and gone. By God's power alone are they still together and working things out.

A couple weeks ago my pastor's wife asked if/when I was going to become a member of the church. I didn't have an answer for her. I hadn't joined yet because I was in the process of job hunting and wasn't sure if I was even going to stay in the area. Now, I have a job in the area and am out of excuses. I really should join the church, I've been attending there for a year. I think part of the reason I haven't asked to join is just because I tend to procrastinate. I think another reason I haven't joined is because there isn't anything going for people my age. Then again, I'm the only one my age who's not married.

Today I realized (yet again) that my spiritual life is basically at a stand still. I'm not climbing higher and trying to get to know God better. It amazes me sometimes how we can see what He's done and still ignore Him. I know I've done that so many times. A few years ago my dad made that comment that he could see how much I'd grown spiritually, but I still felt like I was at the same place I'd always been. I still feel like I'm at that same place. This seriously needs to change.

If anyone has any good devotional books I could use some ideas.